Could there be a different approach to Valentine’s Day? Read on to find out more & discover my other wellbeing podcasts on Love.
Yes, it’s February again, and with this month comes that date – the 14th. Is it a day you look forward to or dread? I imagine it depends on where you’re at in your personal life when the morning dawns. Happy single, unhappy single, happy together, unhappy together.
It’s a day that tends to be fraught with pressure and expectation, a bit like Christmas. It has to tick certain boxes. For example, it has to be romantic. Certain things have to be said by the leading partner in a certain way with certain gestures: “I love you” while eating out at a restaurant while offering a red rose(s) with a romantic card. I’m wondering how authentic this really is. Therefore, would it be fair to say it’s organised or rehearsed “love”?
And what if you’re single? It would be hard to ignore the massive commercial effort everywhere you look, everywhere you go. It wouldn’t be surprising if this brings up difficult feelings of loneliness, rejection and abandonment. So, is there another way of spending this day rather than just getting through it?
Well, if you’re with someone, you love them every day presumably. You wouldn’t necessarily wake up more loving on the 14th February. So how about if it became “Another-joyful-day-we-appreciate-one-another-and-choose-to-be-together Day”? Or “Another-day-of-being-grateful Day”? Rather than the contrived gestures, you could just do your favourite things: go for a walk or bike ride, cook your favourite meal or get your favourite take-away. Watch a good film.
If you’re on your own, it can become a “Love Myself Day” with acts of self-care. For instance, take a solo outing to a place you enjoy. A long bath. A relaxed day of catching up with yourself. A nurturing (and preferably nourishing!) meal. In addition, why not listen to your favourite wellbeing podcast? It can be a day to share with like-minded friends as well if you feel you want some company. Either way, approach the day with gratitude and joy, like any other day!
But the thing about Valentine’s Day is that it can bring up this idea of soulmate. The one. The holy grail of partnering where we find and attach ourselves to that one person who is going to meet all our needs. The archetypal fairy tale Prince/Princess who is going to make everything all right for us. The story ends with the “happily ever after” ride into the sunset. Really? That feels like a lot of expectation and pressure.
Finally, there is another option. Let’s change the search criterion. Instead of looking for the one, we look for the One. Not the one out there, but the One in here. Within you. Within each of us. That universal source of love, joy and contentment that resides in our heart and soul. And how do we do that? By taking the journey inward, of self-exploration, which can be through all manner of means from yoga & meditation to solo travel, counselling/NLP/coaching sessions, self-help books, and acts of selfcare. You will discover that you have everything you need for living a fulfilling life, and this will leave you feeling hugely liberated and self-empowered.
And what better day to start this journey than Valentine’s Day!
Namaste
Listen to the MatChat with Mina Wellbeing Podcast, with various discussions about love, as I chat with friend and fellow yogi Sarah Cox:
8 Feb 2022 The risks and rewards of unconditional love – is it worth the ride?
9 Mar 2021 Discussing the myth about “soulmate”
12 Feb 2021 Finding an alternative Valentine’s Day